i wish to walk under the splendorous starlight

i love my family. i love my friends. i love new york. i love when i make good decisions. i love consistency. i love a joyful heart. i love the warmth of the sun. i love comfort.

i am thankful for my enemies. i am thankful for the corn fields in indiana. i am thankful for all things awkward. i am thankful for heartache. i am thankful for the bitter cold. i am thankful for mistakes. i am thankful for change.

the not so good things in life make me thankful for the good. the good shows me, i have something to smile about everyday.

i am blessed & i am thankful.

ps... food, naps, football, and familiy. just sayin.

i've been trying to find what's been in my mind.

i love 'so you think you can dance.' i don't actually know anyone who doesn't.

anyway. i find it absolutely beautiful to see people doing what makes them happy. it's obviously their passion and the fact that they're following it is awesome. it hurts my heart when i see people who aren't pursuing what they love... or they're not where they want to be... or in a relationship that they don't necessarily want to be in all the time... or being someone who they know they're not. but i guarantee you that at least one of these examples rings true for everyone at some point in life. it's true for me... and i am just realizing this now. oops.

i, personally, have figured out a whole lot in the last year. and i'm still trying to sort it all, but i'm finally learning that this is my very own life. i get to do what i want with it. not in a "i'm my own person and old enough to do what i want no matter what anyone tells me" kind of way... in a "i have one life and i shouldn't take anything for granted," kind of way.

and i totally get being scared or realistic, but we should all be doing what we love, and surrounding ourselves with the people that we love and love us. seriously, stop wasting time. follow your own frikin' heart. do what makes you happy.

obviously everything i ever say is always easier said than done... this i know. (and i also need to listen to myself) but why would we NOT want what makes ourselves happy? if you don't know what makes you happy, then figure it out. ya might as well, right?

ps. rainy days are actually my favorite. mmm.

like a riot like a riot, OH!

i feel like a lot has happened in the last two weeks... i guess that's most likely me being dramatic though. shocking, right? however, i feel like my head has been through a lot. i've been going back and forth about some decisions, thinking through life, and just trying to figure some things out. but i discovered today that i became so caught up in my own thoughts, i forgot to look around at the world and just breathe. let me tell ya why.
i had a beautiful tuesday. i always love tuesdays, actually. it's a day where i can go way way uptown for a voice lesson and be in a new neighborhood, a new environment and walk a different street for the day. as i was waiting for the subway, on the way back, this older fella approached me. (i would also like to point out that his attire was possibly the most oddly/wonderful/sky blue constructed outfit i've ever seen. awesome.) he said, "do you know what the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu is?" i respectfully said no, and hesitantly waited for more awkwardness to ensue. then he told me, "for the bird flu, you need a tweetment. and for the swine flu, you need oinkment." then he just walked away! crazy! i could not stop giggling to myself for the next 10 minutes.
thankfully, this complete stranger made me realize that i take things too seriously sometimes. sure, life can be confusing... decisions are hard to make... EVERYTHING can be stressful. whatever it may be, there's a huge possibility that you're putting a lot of the stress and pressure upon yourself.
this weather is also doing something awesome to my heart. the crisp air awakens me in a way that makes me open my eyes to the world a little bit more. it's very strange... but i sure do like it.

ps. colored christmas lights make life a bit brighter. fun fun.

stop. collaborate. and listen...

there's one aspect of professionalism that is vastly over-looked. that is kindness my loves. the saying for the mt program is "don't be an asshole." this is very important. especially in this industry. do you want to be a respected professional who people want to work with? then don't talk crap about your classmates, coworkers, professors, etc. behind their backs or in front of their faces. one word... RUDE. you will burn bridges. you will make enemies. you will lose jobs and opportunities that you cannot get back.
also.. just be kind in general. life is too darn short to hurt someone's feelings. we've all had those moments where our heart says, "ouch." everyone knows what that feels like. do unto others as you would have them do unto you. cliche, but true. have you ever realized that you actually have to go out of your way to be mean to someone? that's just wrong. don't do it.
be nice. you don't even have to love each other if you don't want to. just... be nice. simple.

ps. make a new friend today. it'll do ya some good. double pinky promise.

you call me a mountain and i call you the sea

seasons are changing... people are going along on their merry ways... and we find ourselves either bored, alone, anxious, or if we're lucky... all three. that's just how it is, i suppose. i personally, have been quite anxious lately. i'm trying not to be. so instead i've been looking at pictures from the summer and remembering some of the beautiful days from the past few months. this summer i made a number of new friends, some of which grew very close to my heart, and my favorite moments were the ones we shared when we would take late night walks.
we always took the same path.
we would turn around at the point where the road ends and trails off into the dark mysterious woods. it was very much like a scene from twilight or harry potter. i kid you not. everytime we ended up just standing and staring off into the starry night sky and the semi-frightening woods... crickets cricketing in the background... trains (that sounded like spaceships) going by... and everyone holding hands.

it was always inevitable for one of us to comment on what a beautiful moment it was.
and it's so true! to be with some of your favorite people, looking up at a beautiful creation and feeling like your heart is at peace & full of love all at the same time. that open field feeling is a perspective that's available to all of us, if we would just look for it. (hello, artsy fartsy sentence)
all in all, it's been a glorious summer and i'm thankful for the lessons i've learned. now it's time to go back to my family of friends : )

ps. the new ingrid michaelson album kicks boo-tay. do yourself a favor and give it a go.

the two Ts for the day

lately i've been remembering great things from spring semester. there was one night when a small group of us had walked to get food & smoothies from charleys and then the boys played chess outside. arielle got a danish but couldn't finish eating it. on our walk back we passed a homeless man and arielle said she wanted to give the danish to him, but was too afraid to go up to him herself. so i took the danish and we both went up to him. i can't explain the expression on his face and his words of gratitude. my absolute favorite thing was when he said "bless you. God is good!" he was so thankful for a half eaten danish and it made me realize that i am clearly not thankful nearly enough. correct me if i'm wrong, but i feel like that's the case for a lot of us. i know that i tend to wake up with an attitude that is slightly sour, instead of an attitude that's excited for a new day full of possibilities. i know i know... it's obviously easier said than done, but why can't we try harder?? i know i should anyway. even if it's just thinking of one thing every morning for one year that you're thankful for, that's probably a good 200 more times that you've taken the time to be thankful. sure, lots of things happen in our lives and in this world that upsets us or causes us pain, but there's a reason for all of it. if we can just TRUST that and be THANKFUL for the goodness in our lives... there's a chance we could all be much happier. nothing wrong with that. right?

ps. i miss new york more than anything ever.