i've been trying to find what's been in my mind.

i love 'so you think you can dance.' i don't actually know anyone who doesn't.

anyway. i find it absolutely beautiful to see people doing what makes them happy. it's obviously their passion and the fact that they're following it is awesome. it hurts my heart when i see people who aren't pursuing what they love... or they're not where they want to be... or in a relationship that they don't necessarily want to be in all the time... or being someone who they know they're not. but i guarantee you that at least one of these examples rings true for everyone at some point in life. it's true for me... and i am just realizing this now. oops.

i, personally, have figured out a whole lot in the last year. and i'm still trying to sort it all, but i'm finally learning that this is my very own life. i get to do what i want with it. not in a "i'm my own person and old enough to do what i want no matter what anyone tells me" kind of way... in a "i have one life and i shouldn't take anything for granted," kind of way.

and i totally get being scared or realistic, but we should all be doing what we love, and surrounding ourselves with the people that we love and love us. seriously, stop wasting time. follow your own frikin' heart. do what makes you happy.

obviously everything i ever say is always easier said than done... this i know. (and i also need to listen to myself) but why would we NOT want what makes ourselves happy? if you don't know what makes you happy, then figure it out. ya might as well, right?

ps. rainy days are actually my favorite. mmm.

like a riot like a riot, OH!

i feel like a lot has happened in the last two weeks... i guess that's most likely me being dramatic though. shocking, right? however, i feel like my head has been through a lot. i've been going back and forth about some decisions, thinking through life, and just trying to figure some things out. but i discovered today that i became so caught up in my own thoughts, i forgot to look around at the world and just breathe. let me tell ya why.
i had a beautiful tuesday. i always love tuesdays, actually. it's a day where i can go way way uptown for a voice lesson and be in a new neighborhood, a new environment and walk a different street for the day. as i was waiting for the subway, on the way back, this older fella approached me. (i would also like to point out that his attire was possibly the most oddly/wonderful/sky blue constructed outfit i've ever seen. awesome.) he said, "do you know what the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu is?" i respectfully said no, and hesitantly waited for more awkwardness to ensue. then he told me, "for the bird flu, you need a tweetment. and for the swine flu, you need oinkment." then he just walked away! crazy! i could not stop giggling to myself for the next 10 minutes.
thankfully, this complete stranger made me realize that i take things too seriously sometimes. sure, life can be confusing... decisions are hard to make... EVERYTHING can be stressful. whatever it may be, there's a huge possibility that you're putting a lot of the stress and pressure upon yourself.
this weather is also doing something awesome to my heart. the crisp air awakens me in a way that makes me open my eyes to the world a little bit more. it's very strange... but i sure do like it.

ps. colored christmas lights make life a bit brighter. fun fun.